And so the adventure began!

    If you told me a month ago the adventures I'd be having in a short two and a half weeks, I probably would have laughed and said sounds awesome, but all that can't be possible! But like my surf instructor told me yesterday everything is possible in El Salvador! And I'll go ahead and extend that to Central America.
    The adventures, the people, the scenery has been truly amazing! It's amazing that it has only been a week and a half because it seems like a month! We have had a lot of long bus rides, some comfortable, some very uncomfortable, but at the end of each new and exciting possibilities awaited us!
    Here is a brief outline and highlights of our trip thus far. Taylor and I flew into Guatemala City where we met Ellen, who had already been traveling for about two weeks. From G.C we took another flight to Flores and stayed two nights and went to Tekal to see the oldest Mayan ruins. It was incredible! We met some really cool people from Canada, Israel, and Germany.
    From Flores we went over to Belize and stayed at a beach town called Hopkins. It was really nice to be on the beach and relax. We were there for two nights then took a bus and a boat to Livingston Guatemala. On the boat ride down we met a man from the UK who owned a hostel and said he was having a 4th of July party and needed more Americans! Nobody ever wants more Americans so we felt pretty special and like it was our duty to represent!
    We met two other guys from Kentucky and Texas, so adding three girls from Tennessee, it couldn't get more American! We also celebrated with about 12 other nationalities. The owner had a house on the beach with a pool and we had bbq chicken and potato salad. It was pretty great! We also played a round of ultimate frisbee in the ocean, USA vs Ireland, Australia, England, Canada and New Zealand! USA stomped them! Merica!
   From Livingston we went down the Rio Dulce by boat to Finca Tantin. This was our jungle home! We didn't want to leave! Awesome awesome place with cool people and great food! And it's in the jungle! We stayed two nights there and kayaked and went off ropes swings, and contemplated throwing out passports in the river and staying forever!
   Needless to say we didn't ditch our passports and moved on to Lanquin. Getting there was quite intense diving through the mountains for hours in a 16 passenger van! Beautiful but a little nauseating. We stayed at a really awesome hostel in the mountains, run by a man from Israel.
   We went there because it was close to the limestone pools, that was one thing we were looking forward to the most. However the government had come in and decided they wanted the profits from it, so there was a struggle going on between the town and the government, so the whole thing was shut down.
   However we did get to tube down a river and swing off a rope swing. We also got to explore a cave, which was super awesome! Think Indiana Jones! Wading and swimming through water the whole time carrying candles to a waterfall way back in the cave! That we climbed behind and then up. Soooo cool!
    From there we headed to Antigua, the oldest city in Central America. We didn't do too much there because we were tired from traveling, but we did go to their market and bought a few things. I also got a donut, which I was very excited about!
    From Antigua we went to El Salvador. We met a girl from Canada that told us about surfing and a place to stay so we all stayed at the same hostel in a room with AC, which was heaven! We fell asleep when our heads hit the pillow!
    We had surfing lessons the next day for an hour and then we got to keep the boards for the rest of the day. I thought I would be good at surfing, but it was actually quite difficult because you have to go slow and I wanted to go fast! We had great teachers though who were super patient and encouraging after each 403 fall that I took! Later that afternoon we went back out by ourselves, and it was a whole other ball game! Our hips and ribs are so bruised and I've never had so much salt water up my nose and in my throat! But it was epic!! We are now ready to be sponsored by billabong!
    We were planning on staying another night, but once we started looking for ways down to Costa Rica it turned out the best way was to take a bus at one in the morning! Which is were we are now! Crossing borders and sitting for hours! It will take us about 24 hours to actually get where we are going! Not fun, but apart of the experience.
    This was only a small highlight, but still a lot to write! I would definitely do this trip again but extend it. Everyone we've met have been traveling for months and some have said how we are crazy to do so much in two and a half weeks! If we weren't a little crazy this trip probably wouldn't have happened! It has been such an awesome cross cultural experience! Chalk it up to one of the best! 

Ellen, Taylor, and Nat's Big Adventure!

     We were driving in Ellen's Jeep Grand Cherokee down Lookout Mountian after Bible study a few months after I had moved to Chattanooga, TN. The conversation went something like this, "I'm going to Central America this summer with a coworker, but when my coworker leaves I want to travel around Central America some more. You like to travel, want to come?" After I thought about it and fasted and prayed for 1.2 seconds, I said "SIGN ME UP!" and thus it began the planning of Ellen and Nat's big adventure! 
    I had no idea what the summer would look like for me, or where I'd be but if a trip was on the agenda everything else could work around it! Having a trip to look forward to kept me sane through the rest of the school year! 
    Summer started and I moved out of my brother's house. Since I was going to Central America for two weeks, I didn't want to sign a lease or spend money on a place yet. I considered living in a tent, but then my sister's coworker, who she had become friends with, and had introduced me to, said I could live with her. 
     Taylor knew of my travel plans, and expressed how she really wanted to travel as well! Me, wanting everyone to travel and have awesome experiences, invited Taylor to come on Ellen and Nat's big adventure! Call's were made, schedules shifted, mom visited bring a passport, and 24 hours ago a plane ticket was bought and we were both packing our bags! 
     We are now on a bus heading to Atlanta, where we will spend the night, and then leave at 7:40am to fly into Guatemala City. Once there we will meet up with Ellen and the adventure will begin! Starting in Guatemala and making our way down to Costa Rica! 
    I have no doubt this adventure will be one for the books! So stay posted! 

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

There are a number of “titles” that I can put with my name that would describe who I am: sister, daughter, friend, teacher, traveler, Christian. All these titles have shaped who I am as a person. Take anyone of those things away and I would be a completely different person.

I like who I am, it has taken a lot of brokenness, humility, stretching, and surrender to get me to the point I am now. And I know there is a lot more to come, I’m a work in progress, and that is fine with me! I would be disappointed if at 27 the work was done, “Well this is as good as you’re going to get.” I feel like I would have a lot of apologizing to do. “Sorry guys, this is it!” Thank God there is still more to come!

About six months ago I moved to a new state. I left two jobs I loved, the town I grew up in, and people I really loved. God has asked me to take steps of faith before, and I felt like moving was just another step of faith. Though it was going to be hard, I knew it was all a part of God’s plan for me.

Needless to say, it has been hard. Though my whole family moved as well, and I’ve met awesome people and live in an awesome city, which is more my type of culture than my small town ever was, it has had its ups and downs.

Honestly the hardest part about moving and now living in my new city, has been my pride. Which we now come to why I am even writing. A theme keeps coming up which really stops me in my tracks, and if I miss it now, well I’ll just be making harder on myself in the long run.

Several weeks ago in my small group we sang the hymn “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us.” As we sang the verse “I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.” It really struck me! Because here I am living in a new city, where nobody really knows me, they don’t know the things I’ve done, the places I’ve been. They don’t know how awesome I am! We can laugh at that, but honestly my pride has taken a hit. My poor little ego. I moved from my town where I was a “somebody,” to a city where I am a nobody. I actually look quite pathetic, me with my two cats haha.

I have nothing to boast in! Everyone here is like ten times cooler than I am. BUT it’s in the pressing time where my ego and pride are getting hit and squished that God has met me, and has said “Yeah Natalie, don’t boast in yourself, because your strength will fail. Your knowledge, your gifts, your strength comes from me.” And I realize I can only boast in Jesus Christ, his death and his resurrection.

I am also reminded of Psalm 8:3-9

3 When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
⁴ what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?

⁵ You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
⁶ You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
⁷ all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
⁸ the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.

⁹ Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

David doesn’t write how man made himself great, but what God did. Closing the Psalm so perfectly “how majestic is your name in all the earth!”

Since I met God at age 13, the theme of my life has been surrender. So I shouldn’t be surprised when that theme continues to stay consistent. I’m continued to be challenged to not boast in myself but to boast in Jesus Christ. As much as I would love to point to myself and say look at me! I know how that ends, and it is ugly! So I’ll continue to carry my cross, death to self, and point to Jesus and say look at Him, because he is Majestic! 

Show Me

This last week I have been having some interesting conversations with various people about the church and about hope. As a youth leader I talk to teens a lot and am in contact with teens a lot, so I am aware of the issues they face and some of what goes on in their heads. In saying that, I am also aware that suicide is a very real issues with teens these days, and I've come face to face with more teens who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. I'm supposed to be giving them hope! So I started to study hope in my Bible and it lead me on an interesting journey, and lead me into some awesome conversations with different people, about our roles as Christians and as a church, but the conversations also lead, to how the church (church in the broad term, not just mine), has fallen short, and become confusing for teens. 
Feeling inspired by my study on hope and the conversations I'd been having I wanted to write a poem about hope, but it actually turned into a cry for hope from what I think a teens perspective may be! It's titled "Show Me"

SHOW ME

You look at me and say there’s more,

 But all I feel is shame, loss and an open sore.

Standing with your hands in the air proclaiming to follow the One,

While I’m right here with marks on my arms wondering where it begun.

On the one side you have the cotton candy and the other you have the vigilante.

Both proclaiming the Name but I’m still lost, confused, and unclaimed.

If there’s still more then please, you got to show me.

Cuz I’m about to burst write it off, come undone at the seam.

What is this promise and future you say I have? All I know is some Man got stabbed!

Is that supposed to bring me life and hope?

Cuz all I see are lifeless people who would be better off smoking dope.

 Still more? then please you got to show me!

Cuz I’m about to burst, write it off, come undone at the seam!

Walk the straight and narrow, is what they’re say’n and proclaim

But I’m confused because to me it all looks the same!

Peace, love, and joy sounds nice, but I just feel like I’m stuck in a vise.

Forgiveness and compassion? But when I walk in all I get is a bash’n

Please if there’s more, then you got to show me.

Cuz I’m about to burst, write it off, and come undone at the seam.

I’m over here cryin and hidin trying to decide if what you’re saying is real

Or just a check-list so on that day you can say you got the seal.

I get judged for being fake, I get judged for being real.

So please if there’s more then you got to show me

Cuz I’m about to burst, write it off, and come undone at the seam.

There’s a church on every corner, but I’m about to call the coroner.

All I see is just a name there is no life behind what you claim.

Here I am filled with doubt, but I’m calling you out!

I don’t have a degree and I don’t know about theology.

But if there’s more, then come on! You got to show me!

Cuz I’m about to burst, write it off, and come undone at the seam.

Sequel to Awakened to Dream: Stand Firm

 As I wrote in my last blog about "awakening" a few scriptures came to mind, and when I started to study those scriptures a new word/s came up as well, "stand firm." It keeps coming up too, or the concept of it. Since I thought it was a good idea to drink coffee at 8 in the evening, I figured I would write what I have been discovering, because sleep won’t be coming any time soon! 

The first scripture to came up was Ephesians 5:14 "Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Romans 13:11-14 was cross referenced with Ephesians 5:14. When I read the verses in Romans, I literally went "WOAH!" I'm sure I've read the verses before, but they hit me hard this time! They are a call to get your butt in gear, to put it eloquently! 

"Do this knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near, therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

            A few thoughts to go along with these verses: first, if you read the verse that proceed and follow Ephesians 5:14 they go right along with Romans 13. I don't want to write them out, because they are long, but I JUST have to! Eph 5:6-17

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Both in Eph and Romans the author, Paul, talks about the “deeds of darkness” and putting them off. Paul writes in Romans to “put on the armor of light,” and in Ephesians he says “walk as children of Light.” And then in both of them he says “Awake from sleep” or “Awake sleeper.” Those are a few things standing out to me, but then there is more!

Thinking about what it says in Romans “put on the armor of light,” made me think of Ephesians 6:10-17 which is titled the Armor of God! Verse 11 is what really gets me though. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” Then in verse 14-17, “Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

(The words capitalized were capitalized in my Bible).  

What is standing out to me in these verses are “stand firm.” Paul also talks about putting on truth and righteousness, which he made mention of in chapter 5:9 “For the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth.” Some points are really starting to be made now! If they aren't obvious yet, I will spell them out! The days are evil, WAKE UP! Stand firm! Stand firm by putting on the armor of God!

A lot of people think we are in the “End Times” whether we are or aren't  I don’t know. Since the time Jesus ascended into Heaven, believers have thought it was the “End Times.” Honestly, time is ending it is passing, we or the earth will not go on forever! So what I know is this world is not getting better, but getting worse! It is not getting more moral, but more perverted and scandalous! And since morality is lost, we are told and encouraged to tolerate what is perverted and scandalous. Otherwise we will lose popularity and followers. My biggest annoyance, if we vocalize that we do not agree with what is perverted and scandalous, we are labeled as haters! I do not hate, nor have ever said I hate anyone, I merely do not agree when people are perverted and scandalous.

THIS is why we must stand firm, and learn to do so! The time has long since passed to flit and flaunt around! If we do not know where we stand, we will fall and be swept away by anything! And all that can be said is shame on us!

A song I really love called Oceans, has a verse that goes

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,

 Let me walk upon the waters,

Wherever you may call me.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior!”  

I listen to this song over and over and over again, because it grabs me deep within. I am one who loves adventure, and has many times gone out into the unknown with only my faith and trust in my Savior to lead me. We, YOU, ME, MUST STAND FIRM!!! Then when we are called out upon the waters we will have the faith to go, knowing we will not sink! Though the water may look unsteady and uncharted, we are standing firm upon our Savior, Jesus Christ!     

Awakened To Dream

I was talking to a friend today and she was asking me how Clothe Syria was going. I told her it was going really well, and how it has been so cool to see how God has opened doors and how my small dream has caused me to dream even bigger. I also told her that it has been cool, because I haven’t dreamed in a long time. When I started college I always thought I would go straight from graduation to the mission field, but it didn’t turn out that way.

Some would say I was hit with “real life” like having loans to pay off, and having to get a job to pay those loans off.  I know as you get older there are responsibilities you have to take care of, BUT I do not think paying off loans, getting jobs, even getting married and having kids, is what God created us for! I love God, but if the above is the extent of why He created me and the rest of the human race, “Here you go humans; here is your REAL LIFE!” Then it is pretty lame and I want my money back! No, I believe He had/has so much more in store and we NEED to be awakened to it!

Going back to my conversation with my friend, after I told her that I had started to dream again, she said “Oh like awakened!” I told her yes, and it was funny that she used that word, because the word “awakened” has been coming up a lot! I repeated the conversation to my sister, and she said it is funny because awakened and dreaming does not go together. You dream when you are asleep. My mind really started going after that!

I started to think how in dreams, most of the time, they are absurd and crazy and stuff happens in dreams that could never happen in real life! Then I started to think about how people treat their lives like they are sleeping and in dreams. Stay with me here! I wonder a lot how cool it would be if everybody was living to their full potential. It would solve probably a majority, no, all of the problems in the world! BUT since we go around like we are sleeping and in crazy absurd dreams, “real life” seems to be as good as it gets.

HOWEVER! I think God placed something inside of each of us that longs for more! Not just longs for more, but is very capable of getting more! I believe we all have dreams inside of us that could change the world and we HAVE to be awakened to those dreams! Sometimes when I am having a bad dream, I will tell myself to wake up; I have to shake myself awake to get out of the bad dream! In the same way, our world is stuck in a bad dream, but the bad dream is people living apathetic, lame lives thinking the longing deep within is a crazy absurd dream and they should stay asleep instead of shaking themselves and AWAKENING to the God given longing and dream He placed inside of each of us that COULD CHANGE THE WORLD! Awake oh sleeper!

WE WERE CREATED FOR MORE! But we have been confused and mislead to believe we are awake and what we have is it! But I say NO! We do not even know what it means to be awake! To be awake is terrifying and WONDERFUL all at the same time! It is terrifying because you see just how small you really are in a world of pain and suffering, but it is wonderful because God ALWAYS uses the small for the mightiest of deeds!  When we take the dream that God placed inside of us, that we may think is crazy and absurd, and could never happen, but awake ourselves to the possibility of God using it, IT IS AWESOME to see what He does. And as we see God fulfill those dreams, you have to start dreaming bigger and bigger dreams, because you see how easy it was for God to fulfill the first one! He placed the dream inside of you; OF COURSE, he can handle it and fulfill it! GOD IS FAITHFUL! It would be against His nature not to be faithful.

AWAKE! AWAKE! AWAKE! Shake yourself out of your slumber! YOU have a dream! Awake to that dream! What is the passion and longing deep within you?! I DARE you to dream! 

Another Awkward Arm Moment

   It has happened to all of us, you're meeting somebody for the first time and you want to make a cool first impression, you reach out your hand to shake theirs, but it turns out they are a hugger! It is too late to retract your hand the hug is coming in too quick! There is nothing to do but receive the hug from this person who was a stranger three seconds ago, while you also hug yourself with your arm you extended for the handshake. The whole thing is awkward and you just desperately want to free your arm from this terrible embrace. 
   First impressions are always hard, even second, third, tenth impressions! Maybe nobody else cares about this, and I make too big a deal about it, but I really want to figure out a system to avoid awkward exchanges of greetings and farewells. The above scenario has happened to me too many times, but other awkward greetings and farewells have happened equally as much.
   For instance, if I'm going to hug somebody I'm going to give them a full on hug. But there are those side huggers out there, and I've run into my fair share. I'll be going for a full on hug and then be met by a side hug! I don't even know how they do it, they were facing you one moment, and then the next they are by your side like some ninja magic trick! Which then leaves another awkward arm moment,or as I like to call it an a.a.a.m (okay I just made that up). But once again it is too late to switch from a full on hug to a side hug since both arms are already extended. This now leaves your arm that isn't doing the side hug to awkwardly reach across the person to pat their opposite shoulder. Unless you pretend to be waving your other arm or stretching it or something, either way it's odd and leaves everyone feeling uncomfortable! 
   I think the best moments are when both parties hesitate in what they are going to do. They both have time to think about the interaction so one goes for a hug, and the other goes for a hand shake. Then they see what the other person is doing, so they both switch and you both end up doing the hokie pokie and at some point their bodies collide. Both parties are then left wondering and not knowing if it was handshake or a hug, or maybe a new hipster greeting! If they were really cool, they would just say they came up with a new hipster handshake, like that was the plan all along. 
    I'm not even going to discuss European greetings, the hug and kiss on both checks, or one cheek in some cultures, or both checks five times, after you turn around stomp your feet, and clap your hands to a pattern that everyone is just supposed to magically know! I can't even remember all the times that I have almost full on kissed some old lady or man, because I didn't know the designated side to start on with the cheek kissing! I don't even speak their language but I'm full on kissing them! But I'm not discussing that!
    I think I'll just stick to waving! Or maybe a high five! But sometimes I mess those up too, because it can sometimes look like a wave, and then you just slapped somebodies wave, and that is kinda offensive. Or I could do what my sister did today after she met one of her boyfriend's friends. She thought he was going to shake her hand again before they departed, but he was only doing the cool gun point thing. Her hand was already reacting for the hand shake, but since she is smooth she turned it into a point. That is always cool, pointing at each other. I guess if you add a smile and a wink it works...depending on the person, otherwise it is creepy.
    I think the only solution to this problem, aside from laying down in the fetal position whimpering, especially when you are in a large crowd of people and space is limited for standing, let alone laying down, is calling out what greeting you are going to do so there are no mistakes or a.a.a.ms (another awkward arm moments). If after the names are said, everyone took a deep breath and then called out which greeting they were doing, handshake, hug, side hug, wave, high five or point, then nobody would leave feeling like an idiot! And it could also open up conversation about why you chose that particular greeting, "Oh, I see you chose to point, why is that?....mmm it's because you have a weird phobia of touching people, interesting." See, what a great conversation starter! Okay, so maybe there is no solution, and our awkward greetings and our a.a.a.ms will just have to be lived with and laughed about!