It has happened to all of us, you're meeting somebody for the first time and you want to make a cool first impression, you reach out your hand to shake theirs, but it turns out they are a hugger! It is too late to retract your hand the hug is coming in too quick! There is nothing to do but receive the hug from this person who was a stranger three seconds ago, while you also hug yourself with your arm you extended for the handshake. The whole thing is awkward and you just desperately want to free your arm from this terrible embrace.
First impressions are always hard, even second, third, tenth impressions! Maybe nobody else cares about this, and I make too big a deal about it, but I really want to figure out a system to avoid awkward exchanges of greetings and farewells. The above scenario has happened to me too many times, but other awkward greetings and farewells have happened equally as much.
For instance, if I'm going to hug somebody I'm going to give them a full on hug. But there are those side huggers out there, and I've run into my fair share. I'll be going for a full on hug and then be met by a side hug! I don't even know how they do it, they were facing you one moment, and then the next they are by your side like some ninja magic trick! Which then leaves another awkward arm moment,or as I like to call it an a.a.a.m (okay I just made that up). But once again it is too late to switch from a full on hug to a side hug since both arms are already extended. This now leaves your arm that isn't doing the side hug to awkwardly reach across the person to pat their opposite shoulder. Unless you pretend to be waving your other arm or stretching it or something, either way it's odd and leaves everyone feeling uncomfortable!
I think the best moments are when both parties hesitate in what they are going to do. They both have time to think about the interaction so one goes for a hug, and the other goes for a hand shake. Then they see what the other person is doing, so they both switch and you both end up doing the hokie pokie and at some point their bodies collide. Both parties are then left wondering and not knowing if it was handshake or a hug, or maybe a new hipster greeting! If they were really cool, they would just say they came up with a new hipster handshake, like that was the plan all along.
I'm not even going to discuss European greetings, the hug and kiss on both checks, or one cheek in some cultures, or both checks five times, after you turn around stomp your feet, and clap your hands to a pattern that everyone is just supposed to magically know! I can't even remember all the times that I have almost full on kissed some old lady or man, because I didn't know the designated side to start on with the cheek kissing! I don't even speak their language but I'm full on kissing them! But I'm not discussing that!
I think I'll just stick to waving! Or maybe a high five! But sometimes I mess those up too, because it can sometimes look like a wave, and then you just slapped somebodies wave, and that is kinda offensive. Or I could do what my sister did today after she met one of her boyfriend's friends. She thought he was going to shake her hand again before they departed, but he was only doing the cool gun point thing. Her hand was already reacting for the hand shake, but since she is smooth she turned it into a point. That is always cool, pointing at each other. I guess if you add a smile and a wink it works...depending on the person, otherwise it is creepy.
I think the only solution to this problem, aside from laying down in the fetal position whimpering, especially when you are in a large crowd of people and space is limited for standing, let alone laying down, is calling out what greeting you are going to do so there are no mistakes or a.a.a.ms (another awkward arm moments). If after the names are said, everyone took a deep breath and then called out which greeting they were doing, handshake, hug, side hug, wave, high five or point, then nobody would leave feeling like an idiot! And it could also open up conversation about why you chose that particular greeting, "Oh, I see you chose to point, why is that?....mmm it's because you have a weird phobia of touching people, interesting." See, what a great conversation starter! Okay, so maybe there is no solution, and our awkward greetings and our a.a.a.ms will just have to be lived with and laughed about!
