Sequel to Awakened to Dream: Stand Firm

 As I wrote in my last blog about "awakening" a few scriptures came to mind, and when I started to study those scriptures a new word/s came up as well, "stand firm." It keeps coming up too, or the concept of it. Since I thought it was a good idea to drink coffee at 8 in the evening, I figured I would write what I have been discovering, because sleep won’t be coming any time soon! 

The first scripture to came up was Ephesians 5:14 "Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Romans 13:11-14 was cross referenced with Ephesians 5:14. When I read the verses in Romans, I literally went "WOAH!" I'm sure I've read the verses before, but they hit me hard this time! They are a call to get your butt in gear, to put it eloquently! 

"Do this knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near, therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."

            A few thoughts to go along with these verses: first, if you read the verse that proceed and follow Ephesians 5:14 they go right along with Romans 13. I don't want to write them out, because they are long, but I JUST have to! Eph 5:6-17

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Both in Eph and Romans the author, Paul, talks about the “deeds of darkness” and putting them off. Paul writes in Romans to “put on the armor of light,” and in Ephesians he says “walk as children of Light.” And then in both of them he says “Awake from sleep” or “Awake sleeper.” Those are a few things standing out to me, but then there is more!

Thinking about what it says in Romans “put on the armor of light,” made me think of Ephesians 6:10-17 which is titled the Armor of God! Verse 11 is what really gets me though. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” Then in verse 14-17, “Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

(The words capitalized were capitalized in my Bible).  

What is standing out to me in these verses are “stand firm.” Paul also talks about putting on truth and righteousness, which he made mention of in chapter 5:9 “For the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth.” Some points are really starting to be made now! If they aren't obvious yet, I will spell them out! The days are evil, WAKE UP! Stand firm! Stand firm by putting on the armor of God!

A lot of people think we are in the “End Times” whether we are or aren't  I don’t know. Since the time Jesus ascended into Heaven, believers have thought it was the “End Times.” Honestly, time is ending it is passing, we or the earth will not go on forever! So what I know is this world is not getting better, but getting worse! It is not getting more moral, but more perverted and scandalous! And since morality is lost, we are told and encouraged to tolerate what is perverted and scandalous. Otherwise we will lose popularity and followers. My biggest annoyance, if we vocalize that we do not agree with what is perverted and scandalous, we are labeled as haters! I do not hate, nor have ever said I hate anyone, I merely do not agree when people are perverted and scandalous.

THIS is why we must stand firm, and learn to do so! The time has long since passed to flit and flaunt around! If we do not know where we stand, we will fall and be swept away by anything! And all that can be said is shame on us!

A song I really love called Oceans, has a verse that goes

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders,

 Let me walk upon the waters,

Wherever you may call me.

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior!”  

I listen to this song over and over and over again, because it grabs me deep within. I am one who loves adventure, and has many times gone out into the unknown with only my faith and trust in my Savior to lead me. We, YOU, ME, MUST STAND FIRM!!! Then when we are called out upon the waters we will have the faith to go, knowing we will not sink! Though the water may look unsteady and uncharted, we are standing firm upon our Savior, Jesus Christ!     

Awakened To Dream

I was talking to a friend today and she was asking me how Clothe Syria was going. I told her it was going really well, and how it has been so cool to see how God has opened doors and how my small dream has caused me to dream even bigger. I also told her that it has been cool, because I haven’t dreamed in a long time. When I started college I always thought I would go straight from graduation to the mission field, but it didn’t turn out that way.

Some would say I was hit with “real life” like having loans to pay off, and having to get a job to pay those loans off.  I know as you get older there are responsibilities you have to take care of, BUT I do not think paying off loans, getting jobs, even getting married and having kids, is what God created us for! I love God, but if the above is the extent of why He created me and the rest of the human race, “Here you go humans; here is your REAL LIFE!” Then it is pretty lame and I want my money back! No, I believe He had/has so much more in store and we NEED to be awakened to it!

Going back to my conversation with my friend, after I told her that I had started to dream again, she said “Oh like awakened!” I told her yes, and it was funny that she used that word, because the word “awakened” has been coming up a lot! I repeated the conversation to my sister, and she said it is funny because awakened and dreaming does not go together. You dream when you are asleep. My mind really started going after that!

I started to think how in dreams, most of the time, they are absurd and crazy and stuff happens in dreams that could never happen in real life! Then I started to think about how people treat their lives like they are sleeping and in dreams. Stay with me here! I wonder a lot how cool it would be if everybody was living to their full potential. It would solve probably a majority, no, all of the problems in the world! BUT since we go around like we are sleeping and in crazy absurd dreams, “real life” seems to be as good as it gets.

HOWEVER! I think God placed something inside of each of us that longs for more! Not just longs for more, but is very capable of getting more! I believe we all have dreams inside of us that could change the world and we HAVE to be awakened to those dreams! Sometimes when I am having a bad dream, I will tell myself to wake up; I have to shake myself awake to get out of the bad dream! In the same way, our world is stuck in a bad dream, but the bad dream is people living apathetic, lame lives thinking the longing deep within is a crazy absurd dream and they should stay asleep instead of shaking themselves and AWAKENING to the God given longing and dream He placed inside of each of us that COULD CHANGE THE WORLD! Awake oh sleeper!

WE WERE CREATED FOR MORE! But we have been confused and mislead to believe we are awake and what we have is it! But I say NO! We do not even know what it means to be awake! To be awake is terrifying and WONDERFUL all at the same time! It is terrifying because you see just how small you really are in a world of pain and suffering, but it is wonderful because God ALWAYS uses the small for the mightiest of deeds!  When we take the dream that God placed inside of us, that we may think is crazy and absurd, and could never happen, but awake ourselves to the possibility of God using it, IT IS AWESOME to see what He does. And as we see God fulfill those dreams, you have to start dreaming bigger and bigger dreams, because you see how easy it was for God to fulfill the first one! He placed the dream inside of you; OF COURSE, he can handle it and fulfill it! GOD IS FAITHFUL! It would be against His nature not to be faithful.

AWAKE! AWAKE! AWAKE! Shake yourself out of your slumber! YOU have a dream! Awake to that dream! What is the passion and longing deep within you?! I DARE you to dream! 

Another Awkward Arm Moment

   It has happened to all of us, you're meeting somebody for the first time and you want to make a cool first impression, you reach out your hand to shake theirs, but it turns out they are a hugger! It is too late to retract your hand the hug is coming in too quick! There is nothing to do but receive the hug from this person who was a stranger three seconds ago, while you also hug yourself with your arm you extended for the handshake. The whole thing is awkward and you just desperately want to free your arm from this terrible embrace. 
   First impressions are always hard, even second, third, tenth impressions! Maybe nobody else cares about this, and I make too big a deal about it, but I really want to figure out a system to avoid awkward exchanges of greetings and farewells. The above scenario has happened to me too many times, but other awkward greetings and farewells have happened equally as much.
   For instance, if I'm going to hug somebody I'm going to give them a full on hug. But there are those side huggers out there, and I've run into my fair share. I'll be going for a full on hug and then be met by a side hug! I don't even know how they do it, they were facing you one moment, and then the next they are by your side like some ninja magic trick! Which then leaves another awkward arm moment,or as I like to call it an a.a.a.m (okay I just made that up). But once again it is too late to switch from a full on hug to a side hug since both arms are already extended. This now leaves your arm that isn't doing the side hug to awkwardly reach across the person to pat their opposite shoulder. Unless you pretend to be waving your other arm or stretching it or something, either way it's odd and leaves everyone feeling uncomfortable! 
   I think the best moments are when both parties hesitate in what they are going to do. They both have time to think about the interaction so one goes for a hug, and the other goes for a hand shake. Then they see what the other person is doing, so they both switch and you both end up doing the hokie pokie and at some point their bodies collide. Both parties are then left wondering and not knowing if it was handshake or a hug, or maybe a new hipster greeting! If they were really cool, they would just say they came up with a new hipster handshake, like that was the plan all along. 
    I'm not even going to discuss European greetings, the hug and kiss on both checks, or one cheek in some cultures, or both checks five times, after you turn around stomp your feet, and clap your hands to a pattern that everyone is just supposed to magically know! I can't even remember all the times that I have almost full on kissed some old lady or man, because I didn't know the designated side to start on with the cheek kissing! I don't even speak their language but I'm full on kissing them! But I'm not discussing that!
    I think I'll just stick to waving! Or maybe a high five! But sometimes I mess those up too, because it can sometimes look like a wave, and then you just slapped somebodies wave, and that is kinda offensive. Or I could do what my sister did today after she met one of her boyfriend's friends. She thought he was going to shake her hand again before they departed, but he was only doing the cool gun point thing. Her hand was already reacting for the hand shake, but since she is smooth she turned it into a point. That is always cool, pointing at each other. I guess if you add a smile and a wink it works...depending on the person, otherwise it is creepy.
    I think the only solution to this problem, aside from laying down in the fetal position whimpering, especially when you are in a large crowd of people and space is limited for standing, let alone laying down, is calling out what greeting you are going to do so there are no mistakes or a.a.a.ms (another awkward arm moments). If after the names are said, everyone took a deep breath and then called out which greeting they were doing, handshake, hug, side hug, wave, high five or point, then nobody would leave feeling like an idiot! And it could also open up conversation about why you chose that particular greeting, "Oh, I see you chose to point, why is that?....mmm it's because you have a weird phobia of touching people, interesting." See, what a great conversation starter! Okay, so maybe there is no solution, and our awkward greetings and our a.a.a.ms will just have to be lived with and laughed about!
 

Encourage...

I think that we have all heard of the "love languages" and have probably figured out which ones we feel most loved by and how we love others. I think that the love languages is interesting, but I also think that everyone's number one love language is words of affirmation. Some may say, "no way! I love to get gifts!" but actually I think that everyone really loves to be encouraged and affirmed. We just don't know how much we really love it and need it. How would anybody be successful if somebody didn't encourage them and affirm that they can indeed conquer the world...or maybe that really tough class, or get the job that they think is way out of their reach. Some people probably are just self driven and determined, but for the majority I think it is because somebody believed in them! They affirmed them and encouraged them.
Recently I was hanging out with one of my friends that I hadn't seen in a few months, as we were talking I told him that I really admired how he really pursued his goals and didn't give up. I had been meaning to tell him for awhile, but had never gotten around to it until that moment. After we went our separate ways and he went back to another state, I got a letter from him in the mail saying thank you for what I had said to him, then he encouraged me. It was awesome! "It's more blessed to give than receive" We all know that, and sometimes I put that verse in a box and think that it means to give tangible things like gifts, or something, which for me that is how I love people, by giving them things and it brings me sooo much joy and I get so excited! But also when I give words of encouragement I am blessed! I am blessed because I get to see how much those words really meant to that person, and someday maybe I'll see how my words maybe changed somebodies life. The tongue is powerful, more powerful than we give it credit.
If we didn't want to be affirmed why would we have facebook, twitter, instagram, and all the other social media! We want people to know what we are doing and that we are awesome! We want people to think we are awesome. That's why I check all my social media like a hundred times a day! I want to see how many people are thinking that I'm awesome! I want to see their compliments and comments and likes. Social media only goes so far though. I like when people tell me face to face that I'm cool, that I look nice.  
I've been trying to give people more compliments when I think they look nice, or did a good job on something, instead of just thinking it but never saying it. Giving a compliment or word of encouragement isn't that hard, but we rarely ever do it. Why not? Is it pride? We don't want to build somebody else up, because we think we are the best? That's really lame! I think we all can relate to the feeling when somebody says you look nice, or you did well, suddenly you have the power to run a mountain! It's a great feeling to see somebody smile and light up because you gave them a compliment, even a perfect stranger. I think we would all be surprised if we could see how every word we spoke affected people. 
There is more that I could elaborate about this subject, but maybe you just think about it. Maybe go ask somebody how positive words affected their lives, and how negative words affected their lives. Go encourage somebody, don't wait, don't just think it, say it! Change somebodies moment, day, life!

Cheesecake Thief...

    My sister and I have been living together since October, and it has been great. Since we live together we obviously do more stuff together like grocery shop. Growing up our parents never kept junk food in the house, only on special occasions would we have chips or soda. That has more or less carried into how my sister and I live now. We will occasionally have chips for salsa or hummus. However for a few months now my sister has been on a real health kick, which that is great, but I'm kind of tired of the steamed veggies and eating like rabbits. We go grocery shopping and our cart will be full, but I will still feel like we haven't gotten anything to eat because it is full of side dishes, "Carrots, apples and crackers aren't a real meal!" My cries go unheard! 
    Last week was my sister's boyfriend's birthday! We are big on birthdays, so it was a time to celebrate! My sister bought cheesecake for the special occasion! The three of us all celebrated and enjoyed a piece, and then the rest of the cheesecake was put in the fridge to be enjoyed later...or so we thought! Her boyfriend went back to college and we continued our week as usual. 
    Wednesday I was at home all day, except for an hour around noon. That evening my sister and I were talking and I jogged her memory about the cheesecake. She ran into the kitchen eager to get a piece, but then announces that it is not in the fridge. She isn't always the best looker, so I went in there to get it for her, but it was gone! She questions me, and I tell her that I didn't eat it, ironically I had been doing a cleanse that day so I had just been drinking water and eating fruit. I had told her earlier everything I had eaten that day too (such a girl thing to do haha) but I was in the clear. 
    We looked in the back fridge and in the little fridge upstairs, but it was nowhere. By this time my sister is in hysterics because the cheesecake is missing and she had her heart set on having a piece! She was yelling and stomping around. She had had a long week, so the cheesecake was kind of a highlight, she really doesn't usually get that emotional about food...actually, I take that back. She has been known to get worked up about food. When she has her heart set on something and then it gets taken away, she will get really offended and can't comprehend why somebody would do that to her. Like if she picked out the most frosted wheatie and was saving it to eat last, and then "somebody" picked it up and ate it! You would think somebody just slapped her across the face, or that you were about to get slapped across the face! All hypothetical of course...though I can think of a half a dozen other instances that this has happened with various foods! 
    So considering the knowledge of how my sister reacts when food it taken from her, I was determined to help her discover what happened to the cheesecake! Plus I always love a mystery. We came up with two options, my parents stopped by and took it in the hour that I was gone, or somebody walked in our house and stole it! The next day we questioned our parents, but they had no knowledge of the cheesecake and were confused as to why we thought they would come and take it. That left one option! SOMEBODY STOLE IT! It was the only logical answer. We went back over all the details, "I didn't eat it, our parents didn't take it, her bf wasn't seen leaving with it, and she had a piece the night before it turned up missing." It only made since that somebody came into our house and took it! 
   Being the detective that I am, I posted all the events on my facebook, maybe somebody would know something, or just feel sorry for us because of the heinous crime that was done to us! One of my friends did say she took it, but I knew she was innocent, but I did tell her I needed her law enforcement friends to come out and take finger prints! As the suspense kept building about who came into our house and stole the cheesecake, the truth was finally revealed! 
   As it turns out my sister had told her boyfriend to take the cheesecake or the next time he came there wouldn't be any left! But instead of taking it he decided to hide it from us in the veggie draw in the back fridge! It was the perfect place because we never put our veggies in the back fridge so we would never look there! Needless to say we were relieved that somebody didn't actually break in and steal our cheesecake, but that it was actually just hidden from us. WHO KNEW! 
   The moral of this story is don't live on veggies!

I Better Keep Going...

This year I took up running more. I'm pretty sure every year I take up running, but this year I have actually been consistently running. I will not at all say I am runner though. I started running during the school year because it was a break from studying, good alone time, and most importantly it helped relieve stress, which I seemed to have had a double portion of my senior year! Once I got home I just kept on running, I actually started liking running and the runner's high.
 I don't call myself a runner though, because I'm a bit of, shall we say, a high maintenance runner. Real runners can run anytime and in any way. Real runners can talk, run up hills, run without music, run with people or without people. I however can only run at night, I have to have music, and I don't really like to run with people. It's hard enough to keep the oxygen flow going without talking, so I definitely don't like to talk on the few occasions that I do run with people. As far as hills go...well I'm working on it. If any of these conditions change my run just isn't that good and I usually stop and walk more. One thing is for certain though, I have to have my music, it keeps me motivated to keep going.
Earlier this summer I borrowed my sisters ipod for my run. I looked through her playlists and found one named "running music" considering that I was going to run, I figured that would be the best playlist. Boy was I right! That playlists definitely kept me running. The first song was "Wavin Flag" by K-naan. That happens to be one of my favorite songs, I can't help but move when it starts playing, and it reminds me of my time in Germany and the World Cup! Good first song to get my running started. Then the second song, Hips Don't Lie, by Shakira, at that moment I caught a glimps of my shadow, and it is true, my hips don't lie! Better keep running! The next song to come on was "Bust Your Windows" by...ahm...Glee Cast (this is my sister's okay, don't judge!) it is a good song to run to though, about a young girl getting her aggression out about a boy liking somebody else. It's easy to run to if you imagine you are running away from her!
Next song "Get Busy" Sean Paul. Which part of the lyrics are about "shaking that thing" I already had Shakira talking about my hips, and it's no lie that as I run everything feels like it is shaking. It's not the "I just ran a marathon and my legs feel like jello shaking." It's more like I just ran a mile, and the lack of caring what I eat is shaking around...yes, I better keep going! I then skip over a few songs and land on "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. Now I don't care who you are or where you are, that song comes on and you can't help but start moving! It's just the kind of song that you get all your girl friends together and no man better come near, because we are on the mountain top about what we deserve honey, and no man has any say in that circle (snap your fingers in a Z, turn around and walk away...or run up the hill that I was now approaching, cuz baby you didn't bring me down and neither is this hill!) As I talk to the imaginary man in my head who never put the ring on my finger, but I feel ya Beyonce!
Next song, Taio Cruz "Dynamite" Great song to dance to, but as I am now quite a ways into my run, as Taio is singing about how "It goes on and on and on" and "I throw my hands up in the air, saying Hey O!" I'm going yes, "this run does go on and on, and I'm about to throw my hands in the air and say HECK NO!" A few more songs go by that keep me moving, Chris Brown "Forever" Kanye West "Gold Digger" a song by Eminem. Eminem always has a lot of aggression, which aggression is good emotion to have while running, "I'm so mad I'm going to run so fast on this ground and show it who's boss! I don't care if there is a enough oxygen flowing through my lungs I'm so angry I'll show oxygen who's boss too! There's a leaf, I'm going to stomp on it!" Eminem passes by and on comes Rihanna, if anybody needs to run it's Rihanna...away from Chris Brown! Few more songs go by, finally Diddy "Coming Home" YESSS, final stretch! I'm coming home!  I had quite the run, working out all my emotions about the World Cup, being out of shape, the boy liking somebody else, being on the mountain top of singleness, pushed through and made it through my aggression against the ground, oxygen, and leafs, and ran my benefit race to free Rihanna! Now I was going home, feeling at this point more like E.T. if only I could fly away on a bike! Once I returned home, my parents seemed a bit confused when they asked about my run, and I responded with "emotional!" I told you I was a high maintenance runner. 

(I wrote this entry this summer and never posted it. I haven't ran more than a mile since the beginning of winter.)

Let's all hold hands and be posers together!

My sister and I were talking the other day about how people used to dress for the activities they were going to do. Such as, if they were going to travel they would put on their travel clothes, if they were going to ride a horse they would put on their riding clothes.
My sister and I thought it would be interesting if we still did that today, because it seems that a lot people dress like they are going to go do yoga, but actually they are just buying frozen yogurt or going tanning. I mean it is just very confusing these days to know who people really are.
Back then it would probably be easy to find people you have things in common with, because you see them dressed in the attire of what they really are doing! But today you can't tell if somebody is really into sailing a boat or if they just like to walk around the mall in boating shoes.
My sister's boyfriend was walking around downtown Columbia the other day and he said everyone was wearing Northface and Patagonia jackets. I mean it's possible that they all just came from hiking down a mountain, elevation at 10,000 ft. But considering we live in the middle of Missouri, I kind of doubt it. Maybe I'm being harsh, I know those jackets are warm, but those companies are mountaineering companies whose intent was to sale to people who do mountaineering things. Now it has become a fad that everyone from a 4 year old to the cheerleader owns ones...I'd like to hear about their crazy hiking adventures!
Okay, okay, I'll give northface a rest. So I would consider myself a pretty compassionate person, I like to help those in need. But recently I've been a little deceived  I can't seem to tell the difference between a homeless person and a hipster! I see somebody sitting in the park looking homeless, then they pull out their iphone! Wait a second! I'm not going to give my sandwich to you! I'm just kidding, I love hipsters. I think I'm a little confused by them, and what really defines one, cuz we also have this skinny jean, v-neck, flannel shirt, beard, big glasses, with a beenie fad going on. So I'm not sure if those people are hipsters, or if looking homeless/mountain man is a real hipster!
See my dilemma these days, I don't know who people really are! How am I supposed to start a conversation with somebody, "I see you're wearing running shorts, want to go running sometime?...oh you don't run...well, uhh...hey look at that cloud." The only people I know who they are when I see them are hicks...but even those lines are starting to blur, because cowboy boots have hit the fashion market in the last few years too!
Fads, they are just so interesting. I remember when I said I would never wear skinny jeans! Now almost all my jeans are skinny jeans. Truth is I get caught up in fads too, but honestly I really don't own yoga pants, a northface jacket or sparies. I do have one flannel shirt though! Sometimes maybe my style could be hard to read, but generally my clothes define who I am and what I enjoy doing. I'm wearing sweat pants, yes, I'm going to Wal-Mart...okay maybe that's not a good example considering there is a whole web page dedicated to what people wear to W-M!
It's actually funny that clothes can define somebody. Adam and Eve had no idea what shame would evolve into when they covered themselves with leaves! Thanks a lot guys! I guess that's why the saying holds true "don't judge a book by its cover." Because you really don't know who a person is by what they are wearing! I've been really surprised and disappointed so many times hahaha. I say let's just all hold hands and be posers together (I'm not a hippie, I don't own tie-dye!) Haha.

Just the Worst!

    AAAaaa-chhooooo! Excuse me! I have now been sick for about two weeks. It started out as a sore throat and then progressed into congestion and coughing. I honestly can't believe that I am still sick. It's the worst kind of sickness too. I would rather be throwing up and living over the toilet than have a sore throat and congestion. If I were to make a list of the 20 worst things to endure, a sore throat would probably be about number 3. I hate them that much, I can endure getting my face bitten by a dog and numerous broken bones, but I can not endure a sore throat.
   Every time I'm sick, I'm sure it is the worst sickness I have ever had, but this one really may be the worst sickness I've had...well except that one time when I was in Europe, and the morning I was to go on a 24 hour train journey to Bulgaria to finish out my summer internship, I woke up with a super sore throat and could barely talk or swallow! Those 24 hours were the worst in my life. I was in a box car that was steaming hot and Europeans don't like to roll down the windows for fear that they will get sick. So we literally went back and forth me pulling the widow down so I could breath and them pulling it back up when I fell back asleep. I was miserable, I'm pretty sure I was going in and out of consciousness than actually sleeping, from it being so hot. Then I had a something like a 4 or 7 wait in Budapest for my next train. I bought three bottles of water and a fanta, piled my bags on a bench and laid across them while I waited for my train. I know I looked miserable, I was soaked in sweat, couldn't breath, hadn't slept, and everything was going numb and beginning to swell from not being able to get up and walk around (I had two huge bags that I was lugging around so it was too difficult to move around with them). At that moment I don't think I ever felt more miserable in my life! So that was probably the worst sickness I've had, but this one is coming in close.
   I haven't had a decent nights sleep in awhile, because my nose has to be blown or I have a twenty minute coughing fit, where I'm sure I'm going to cough up a lung or a rib is going to come flying up my throat. I know for certain that if my nose makes it through this, it will never be the same again, and I may have to give Rudolf a run for his money. The only good thing coming from this is the ab workout I get every time I cough. I'll have to pin my workout on Pinterest, "All you have to do is every hour cough uncontrollably for 20 minutes, to get those defined abs we all desire!" Okay, maybe not.
   Being sick, just really knocks me on my butt, literally, like I have no energy to walk around so I have to stay on my butt all day. Unfortunately my bedroom is upstairs, I swear it's like climbing mount Everest when I have to go up there, but I don't have an oxygen tank to make the hike with. I'm going to start carrying a backpack around so when I am in my room I can load up anything that I think I may slightly need, so when I go downstairs I don't have a to take three trips up the stairs during the day to grab my chap-stick, or hoody, or my bag  of M&M's. It might be five in the morning and I'm going downstairs to lay on the couch, and I may not want my m&m's at  five, but if I want them at 1:30 I'll have them in my backpack
   Another thing about being sick is that it makes you really weak and vulnerable, and at least for me, more emotional. All my emotions seem to get heightened  I don't know if it's because my brain is so jumbled from blowing my nose like a trumpet, and all the congestion has it all foggy up there that my emotions don't get put through a filter so everything comes streaming out or what, but everything was making me cry yesterday. My sister showed me a get well card that her boyfriend sent her and I started crying. We were watching a TV show and one of the characters died and I cried for like a half hour about it. It's awful! I swear if I look outside and see a squirrel gather acorns I would probably loose it. 
   Unfortunately yesterday we also got a huge snow storm, I'm a bit confused cuz I thought the groundhog said we were going to have a shorter winter, but the foot of snow seems to be suggesting otherwise. We are now snowed in! It would seem fun, but I'm too sick and tired to enjoy it, I think I'm going to go drink some NyQuil and cry about it.