Okay, Where Are The Cameras?

I think that if my life were a reality tv show that it would be a huge hit with like 12 people! Sometimes my life can seem a little boring, but when it's exciting it is really exciting or humorous rather, and it's mostly when I'm overseas! Like the time I was in India and I asked a lady who had a lame leg to help me across the street. Good job Natalie, out of all the people I had to ask! Or the time I was on a tram in Germany and I tried to ask a guy how to pay and ended up playing German charades, which I lost miserably! The more I travel the more humorous and ridiculous stories I seem to pile up, that never seem to get remembered until months or years later when something jogs your memory.

Sometimes I think it would be cool to have my own camera team to document everything I do...it would save me writing time in my journal that's for sure. Then there are other times when I'm not thinking about having a camera team at all, but I am sure there must be hidden camera around and I'm going to end up on some tv show looking ridiculous! If I had my own camera crew I could at least edit the material to always make myself look awesome and funny and never boring! But if there are hidden camera's around I would then be exposed for how ridiculous I really am. 

All this thought about camera's following me was really brought up by a memory I had tonight while I was taking a shower in our little shower in the basement, my memory was jogged. It reminded me about a time I was in Bulgaria last summer. The shower in the basement bathroom is really small, but the bathroom is small so the shower had to be small. While I was showering I thinking about how difficult it was to manage in there and how I didn't think I had ever been in such a small shower. But then I remembered that I actually had! 

My last day in Bulgaria I stayed with the oldest daughter of the missionaries I had been with. She lived in the capital and that is where I was flying out of to come back home. I had to be up real early in the morning to catch a taxi to the airport, so I woke up an hour earlier to take a shower and make sure all my stuff was in order. I wanted to wake up 3:30, but I was so paranoid that I wouldn't wake up I kept waking up every 15 minutes, and then unfortunately I woke up at 4!

 I rushed around and tried to take my shower, but this bathroom was about the size of a closet and so it was a very interesting trial trying to shower quickly without getting water everywhere and soaking my clothes...it was an open shower, no curtains or anything. It was quite the ordeal trying to manage. I then got dressed and got myself put together. After some confusion with the taxi and which airport I was going to, we finally got it all sorted out and I made it to the airport on time, some what frazzled, but on time! 

Out of all the flights I have had I have never had my bags searched, but of course this time when I am flustered the most because of my frantic morning, my bags would be searched. Security pulled me aside and started to unload my backpack, apparently something had showed up on screen. I don't know why but it seemed like I packed all my underwear in my backpack too. If anyone knows me I always pack lots of underwear, I have some weird fear of running out or something! I think it goes back to the time when I was still wearing pull-ups and one Sunday I forgot to change out of my pull-ups into my big girl panties for church...needless to say I don't think I have ever been so devastated in life when I went to Sunday school and sat down in the little wooden chairs. Trying to conceal the noise of a pull-up on a wooden chair is like trying to conceal cymbals in a library! I'm pretty sure that it was at that moment in my life I swore that I would never be without underwear, an abundance of underwear at that as long as I live! So there I was in that airport having the foreign male guard pull out all of my underwear...I guess I can be happy they weren't pull-ups! 

He then asks me if I have a knife! The female guard then jumped in very quickly and said NO NO! and asked if I had anything metal in my bag. I then pulled out the flashlight in the front pocket that I forgot to put in the other bag! They apologized then the male guard asked if I wanted help repacking my bag. Somewhat frustrated but trying to keep my cool, I told him no and I think I can now manage my underwear alone! Those are the times where you have to think, where are the cameras...well considering I was in an international airport there were cameras I guess haha. I just never ended up on a tv show. I think what made all of this a little worse was that when I went to the bathroom I saw how awful I really looked haha. Lack of sleep and a tiny bathroom where very cruel to me. No wonder the other guard didn't think I had a knife, I looked like a poor lost American trying to get home. Not the put together world traveler I thought I was appearing to be! What was so frustrating then, is now quit humorous, which is how most of my stories go I suppose. Maybe one day I'll just make a movie and re-enact all the times I wish I had a camera, and throw in all the ridiculous times that I now find humorous. 

Paper or plastic?

ALWAYS PLASTIC! Now before anybody gets angry and says I hate the planet let me explain! When I say plastic I mean my debt/credit card and not paper money. I got my first debit card when I was about 16 years old when was getting ready to start my great adventures around the world. Having my debt card was easy because I could use the ATMs overseas instead of worrying about carrying hundreds of dollars with me and having to exchange all of it.
But the real reason I say always plastic is because then you can avoid the awkward paper money exchange! I think we all know what I'm talking about! Very rarely does anybody give the exact amount of change these days when they are purchasing items. No big deal, who wants to count out 7.42 when you can hand the cashier a 10, or 20 for you high rollers. Now before the exact changers think I'm making fun of them, I will say that I started counting out the exact change myself. Partly because the place I keep my change gets so full of coins I can't close my wallet, so why not take a few extra seconds to count out some pennies and dimes. And by a few extra seconds I mean practically dumping my whole wallet on the counter to find that one dime that is hiding, or so I can examine all my coins to make sure I'm not accidentally giving a foreign coin left over from my last trip to India or Europe. So really in my attempt to be exact I just waste time.
  But I mostly give the exact change so I can avoid the awkward change exchange back to me. Maybe I'm the only one with this problem, or maybe I'm the only one who notices, but let me explain and then maybe you'll understand. Not only do you have to wait another 30 seconds while the change is being counted, you then have to make the exchange from the cashiers hand to your hand. Different cashiers have different techniques for handing change back, some hand you the coins first and then the dollars, and then some balance the coins on top of the dollars and hand it back. For some reason it doesn't seem to matter how the change is being handed back to me I always make a mess of it. Maybe I should start using both hands to receive my money back, then I can pretend like I'm being given lots of gold coins that requires me to use both hands, instead of like 2.93 for the bag of m&ms I just bought. I think more often then not I either drop some of my coins or I end up making awkward hand contact with the cashier, you try to ignore it, but you both know our fingers were pretty much intertwined as I was trying to receive my change.
Then there is the get away. I don't know when this started, probably when there was no longer just one grocery store in the whole town and the cashiers no longer knew everyone by name. But it is now common knowledge that right when you get your change back you have to sprint out of the door as fast as you can. If you hesitate you have suddenly become the biggest inconvenience to the two people behind you who have nowhere to be. I've tried to master this game, I really have, this is the technique I have come up with, while the cashier is counting your change grab your bags, if the receipt is accessible to you, grab that too! Then when the cashier hands you your change, assuming that it is a smooth hand off and you don't have to crawl around on the floor trying to find the run away penny or God forbid a quarter, you stuff the change in one of your bags, don't take the time to put it back in your wallet wastes too much time. Then you run out the door!

To make this technique as successful as possible I found that it's a good idea to wear the appropriate clothing, tennis shoes and shorts are usually the best, maybe a sweat band if you are really intense, also drink enough fluid so you don't get dehydrated on your 200 yard sprint out the door and to your car. Camel backs are great, cuz you can hydrate while you shop, and your hands will be free for your bags and change.
If all of this sounds like nonsense to you, just use plastic! Or pray that you are never stuck behind me line!