Paper or plastic?

ALWAYS PLASTIC! Now before anybody gets angry and says I hate the planet let me explain! When I say plastic I mean my debt/credit card and not paper money. I got my first debit card when I was about 16 years old when was getting ready to start my great adventures around the world. Having my debt card was easy because I could use the ATMs overseas instead of worrying about carrying hundreds of dollars with me and having to exchange all of it.
But the real reason I say always plastic is because then you can avoid the awkward paper money exchange! I think we all know what I'm talking about! Very rarely does anybody give the exact amount of change these days when they are purchasing items. No big deal, who wants to count out 7.42 when you can hand the cashier a 10, or 20 for you high rollers. Now before the exact changers think I'm making fun of them, I will say that I started counting out the exact change myself. Partly because the place I keep my change gets so full of coins I can't close my wallet, so why not take a few extra seconds to count out some pennies and dimes. And by a few extra seconds I mean practically dumping my whole wallet on the counter to find that one dime that is hiding, or so I can examine all my coins to make sure I'm not accidentally giving a foreign coin left over from my last trip to India or Europe. So really in my attempt to be exact I just waste time.
  But I mostly give the exact change so I can avoid the awkward change exchange back to me. Maybe I'm the only one with this problem, or maybe I'm the only one who notices, but let me explain and then maybe you'll understand. Not only do you have to wait another 30 seconds while the change is being counted, you then have to make the exchange from the cashiers hand to your hand. Different cashiers have different techniques for handing change back, some hand you the coins first and then the dollars, and then some balance the coins on top of the dollars and hand it back. For some reason it doesn't seem to matter how the change is being handed back to me I always make a mess of it. Maybe I should start using both hands to receive my money back, then I can pretend like I'm being given lots of gold coins that requires me to use both hands, instead of like 2.93 for the bag of m&ms I just bought. I think more often then not I either drop some of my coins or I end up making awkward hand contact with the cashier, you try to ignore it, but you both know our fingers were pretty much intertwined as I was trying to receive my change.
Then there is the get away. I don't know when this started, probably when there was no longer just one grocery store in the whole town and the cashiers no longer knew everyone by name. But it is now common knowledge that right when you get your change back you have to sprint out of the door as fast as you can. If you hesitate you have suddenly become the biggest inconvenience to the two people behind you who have nowhere to be. I've tried to master this game, I really have, this is the technique I have come up with, while the cashier is counting your change grab your bags, if the receipt is accessible to you, grab that too! Then when the cashier hands you your change, assuming that it is a smooth hand off and you don't have to crawl around on the floor trying to find the run away penny or God forbid a quarter, you stuff the change in one of your bags, don't take the time to put it back in your wallet wastes too much time. Then you run out the door!

To make this technique as successful as possible I found that it's a good idea to wear the appropriate clothing, tennis shoes and shorts are usually the best, maybe a sweat band if you are really intense, also drink enough fluid so you don't get dehydrated on your 200 yard sprint out the door and to your car. Camel backs are great, cuz you can hydrate while you shop, and your hands will be free for your bags and change.
If all of this sounds like nonsense to you, just use plastic! Or pray that you are never stuck behind me line!