Who Am I?

Who Am I?

There are a number of “titles” that I can put with my name that would describe who I am: sister, daughter, friend, teacher, traveler, Christian. All these titles have shaped who I am as a person. Take anyone of those things away and I would be a completely different person.

I like who I am, it has taken a lot of brokenness, humility, stretching, and surrender to get me to the point I am now. And I know there is a lot more to come, I’m a work in progress, and that is fine with me! I would be disappointed if at 27 the work was done, “Well this is as good as you’re going to get.” I feel like I would have a lot of apologizing to do. “Sorry guys, this is it!” Thank God there is still more to come!

About six months ago I moved to a new state. I left two jobs I loved, the town I grew up in, and people I really loved. God has asked me to take steps of faith before, and I felt like moving was just another step of faith. Though it was going to be hard, I knew it was all a part of God’s plan for me.

Needless to say, it has been hard. Though my whole family moved as well, and I’ve met awesome people and live in an awesome city, which is more my type of culture than my small town ever was, it has had its ups and downs.

Honestly the hardest part about moving and now living in my new city, has been my pride. Which we now come to why I am even writing. A theme keeps coming up which really stops me in my tracks, and if I miss it now, well I’ll just be making harder on myself in the long run.

Several weeks ago in my small group we sang the hymn “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us.” As we sang the verse “I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom. But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.” It really struck me! Because here I am living in a new city, where nobody really knows me, they don’t know the things I’ve done, the places I’ve been. They don’t know how awesome I am! We can laugh at that, but honestly my pride has taken a hit. My poor little ego. I moved from my town where I was a “somebody,” to a city where I am a nobody. I actually look quite pathetic, me with my two cats haha.

I have nothing to boast in! Everyone here is like ten times cooler than I am. BUT it’s in the pressing time where my ego and pride are getting hit and squished that God has met me, and has said “Yeah Natalie, don’t boast in yourself, because your strength will fail. Your knowledge, your gifts, your strength comes from me.” And I realize I can only boast in Jesus Christ, his death and his resurrection.

I am also reminded of Psalm 8:3-9

3 When I consider your heavens,
    the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which you have set in place,
⁴ what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
    human beings that you care for them?

⁵ You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
⁶ You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
    you put everything under their feet:
⁷ all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
⁸ the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.

⁹ Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is your name in all the earth!

David doesn’t write how man made himself great, but what God did. Closing the Psalm so perfectly “how majestic is your name in all the earth!”

Since I met God at age 13, the theme of my life has been surrender. So I shouldn’t be surprised when that theme continues to stay consistent. I’m continued to be challenged to not boast in myself but to boast in Jesus Christ. As much as I would love to point to myself and say look at me! I know how that ends, and it is ugly! So I’ll continue to carry my cross, death to self, and point to Jesus and say look at Him, because he is Majestic!